Keep Your Fendis Close and Your Chanel-emies Closer

February 27, 2014 at 10:49 am 1 comment

I’m a HUGE Miley Cyrus fan. I love her and (pretty much) everything she’s ever done. It goes without saying, then, that I’ve been following news of her current tour very closely.

Some of the concert has been getting negative press because Miley’s getting a little too crazy up there on stage- simulated fellatio on a Bill Clinton wannabe, a whoooooole lot of crotch grabbing and barely-there costumes studded, bedazzled and fluffed up to the nines.

Mostly, it’s actually those costumes I am obsessing over. Firstly, I’m fascinated by how those tiny strips of fabric ‘covering’ her vagina stay in place but secondly and most importantly I’m completely in love with the way she’s taken to carrying a Chanel bag whenever she hits the stage.

Miley and Chanel is not a new relationship. Even when she was a tween in daisy dukes, cowboy boots and with waist length, brown hair, a Chanel tote was usually in tow. Nowadays, it’s generally a teeny wheeny quilted classic slung over one shoulder and resting on her stomach, worn with a red bejwelled two-piece.

Screen Shot 2014-02-25 at 9.51.52 PM

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I have been known to be highly influenced by celebrities, their endorsements and their fashion choices but this one has really taken over my brain. I’m LOVING the idea of always having a tiny Chanel strapped to your body- particularly inexplicably and in inappropriate situations. I mean, what does Miley even need a tiny bag for anyway? I know she pulled a joint cigarette from yet another Chanel bag at the MTV EMA awards but aside from that, there’s not much else her stage hands couldn’t possibly manage. It kind of reminds me of when I was little when I used to fill my handbags with tissues, or recently when I had high tea with a friend and her two-year-old daughter carried her own handbag – filled with exactly one nappy – around with her.

So, I started going back through the archives and I was reminded of that ridiculous……LY AWESOME ankle bracelet-esque Chanel bag that was doing the rounds six or seven years ago.

Photograph by Jean-Luce HurΓ© for The New York Times

Photograph by Jean-Luce HurΓ© for The New York Times

It was so in the time when Karl Lagerfield was in love with Lindsay Lohan. That man certainly loves a starlet on the brink of destruction. But I digress. The anklet led me to a search for bumbags and now I have a new item for the wishlist:

A Chanel bumbag.

I’ve been sporting bumbags (or fanny packs) for years now. I have a couple of Gucci ones and they’re just great for casual occasions. Obviously you can’t fit too much in them but a phone, keys, lipgloss and a small purse is all you need and they’re more big enough for that kind of load.

It looks like Kourtney Kardashian is also feeling it:

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See? Stylish and practical!

and, once again, Miley got in on the action:

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I hope she has pepper spray in there.

Now, if you can’t stomach bringing back this trend, or looking like a style-conscious drug dealer (side story- I’m pretty sure I saw a dealer wearing overalls in Kings Cross yesterday. O-V-E-R-A-L-L-S on a grown man, worn with a Nike cap, a bumbag and a rat’s tail. He had the straps down and was wearing them like jeans. What in the actual?) then perhaps just the regular Chanel is for you. There’s a little Miley inside of us all and if you can’t twerk and don’t want to stick your tongue out for nine-tenths of the day then you can latch on to her style in a more chic way.

I like the way Alexandra from HRH Collection wears this Chanel bag. Β This is actually a really logical solution to the double-strap slipping and slide off your shoulder. Does this happen to anyone else?

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Unfortunately I don’t think this is going to work with my jumbo! So a bumbag it is. Now all I need to do is save, track one of them down and get my beddazler and my favourite pair of undies ready for my Miley transformation.

Which look would you go for?

  • Mini Miley style
  • Regular sized Chanel worn across body
  • Ankle monitor madness/Kourtney’s Kute fanny pack
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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Jessica (@mstfbloom)  |  March 3, 2014 at 10:48 am

    This is like the cool antidote to all those drug dealers toting Gucci bumbags to store their cash and drugs in.

    I like Jessica Alba’s bumbag. I like to leave the house with only the essentials anyway: lip balm, debit card, Myki, cash & phone. And I like hands free. (Which was why I switched to a small crossbody bag but even that gets in the way most of the time.)


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